If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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