He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
