You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
