If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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