THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
