hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Randomize
