I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
