so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
