Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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