Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Randomize
