Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Randomize
