4 words: hood of his car
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
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