the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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