If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
she smelled like a LAN party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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