I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
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