she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
You made out with two different species that night
Still dying that you shit outside
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
