my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
