Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
