Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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