Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Enjoy the penises
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
