Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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