it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
