She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
