is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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