you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
