Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
