I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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