I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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