I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Randomize
