Soap is not a condiment
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
