3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
