The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
