There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
the liver wants what the liver wants
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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