can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Four minutes until I can fart!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Acid is not a monday night drug
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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