I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
