I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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