Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
