I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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