I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
tequila makes me forget i have legs
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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