The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize