Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
