Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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