i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
