Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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