they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Acid is not a monday night drug
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Dignity is for republicans.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
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