Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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