Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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