return my video game
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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