some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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