her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
