My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
