i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
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