That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
