nut hugger
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
