accomplished twins. life is a go
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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