Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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